The Prissy Mommy Chronicles

Wordless Wednesday

   

 "Muscle Boy"
Chase straining with all his little might & picking up Mommy's 1000 lb. pocket book
Chase @ 1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks, & 4 days old

Updates + More

 
 

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the lovely comments on my last blog post.  All of your words really helped validate my feelings and reminded me that I'm not an ogre after all!  I appreciate that more than you know...  

Funny, I'm always reluctant to open up on this blog and get deeply personal, but when I do throw caution to the wind and blog with my heart on my sleeve I'm always glad that I did.  Blogging can be so cathartic... when you allow it to be.  I feel like just being able to express the feelings in that post freed me of much of the angst I was experiencing.  And having spoken aloud about the pink elephant in our house, I feel like I've been a calmer and more patient person.  (Plus, we had an extra set of hands helping out this past week, which was incredible).

You know, I've never been one who was much good at suppressing emotions... I find that when you do that they always spill out somehow, and usually not in the right way.  So again, many thanks for that outpouring of support!   

In Other News: 

♥ If you follow me on Facebook (my personal profile) don't be alarmed that my wall is missing.  I had a few folks email me about it.  I didn't de-friend anybody or make any special "lists" to isolate you. :-)  I disabled it.  *shrug*  The truth is I haven't been enthusiastic about it in a while and at this time time really need to focus my energies into the blog and accompanying Fan Page.  I have a few personal goals to reach, with regards to this blog, and not a lot of time to work on them.... so I wanted to pour my little bit of spare time into those goals versus maintaining a personal FB presence.  Meanwhile, The Prissy Mommy Life Page is still active, so I'd love it if you'd join us over there! :-)

♥ Health Stuff: I realized I never updated you with regards to Chase's vision.  Well we did inquire about it at his 18-month checkup.  His doctor was great and gave me the referral to a child's eye doctor.  I made an appointment for the next week and he checked Chase out thoroughly.... dilated the poor babe's eyes and then ran all sorts of tests.  Turns out his vision is fine, and he suggested I come back when he is 3 years old for another appointment, since poor eyesight does run in both our families.  Hmmmm, okay.  *scratching head*  I am glad to know Chase doesn't need eye glasses for now.  But I'm still not convinced that the eye rolling/crossing is "nothing" and, once "life" settles down for me I plan to do some follow-up (either another eye doctor or neurologist).  Sorry doc, it's not personal, just the type of mom I am!

♥ And lastly, because I didn't intend for this to be that long (funny how that always happens!) I decided to put Chase's transition to his toddler bed on hold - again.  If you recall, I first began the transition back in April, when Chase was 15 1/2 months.  That was way too early.  He wasn't emotionally mature enough for the switch, and kept getting out of bed, playing in his room, coming into the hallway, etc.  So I gave it some time and we started back again at 18 months.  I found that he was able to nap in his bed, but his naps would be shorter.  He'd wake up after half an hour and come out in the hall, and then that was it.  After speaking to a couple of girlfriends, I decided to try the transition at night instead of during the day.  So I started putting him in the toddler bed at bedtime and just turned a night light on in the room (so he didn't wake up frightened in the middle of the night).

This proved way more effective than the day time naps.  He has clearly matured and understands that it isn't okay to get out of bed anymore (or at least knows better than to leave his room and flaunt his presence to mommy and daddy, lol).  He now accepts that this is his "big boy bed" and, like the crib, he is to remain in bed til morning.  So the first couple of times it went so well - we were excited!!!!  Then one day, after I'd laid him down, I heard him start screaming/crying after an hour.  I ran to his bedroom and didn't see Chase anywhere.  Turns out he had fallen in this small nook between the floor and the window!  Omg, it was scary.  He was okay though... crying and still asleep at the same time.  I put him in the crib, and we then put some stuff in that nook to prevent him from falling again. But last night he fell out of bed again, at 3 am.  I heard a thump and then he started wailing.  I raced into the room and picked him up.  He was a little dazed but otherwise okay.  I had lined the floor with stuffed animals in the event that this happened, so he was startled more than anything.  Anyway, this made me realize that, until I can get some real guard rails, he isn't quite ready for this toddler bed.  He doesn't yet sleep with that "unconscious but conscious" awareness that there aren't the constraints of crib bars, and I think that's something that will have to come with time.  

I'm okay with that now.  Like, seriously.  When the new baby is ready to transition from co-sleeping in his bassinet to the nursery with Chase.... if Chase isn't yet transitioned over, we'll just get a second crib.  It's really all good.  The toddler bed can be stored until somebody is ready to sleep in it.  I realize now that transitioning from crib to "big boy bed" is a huge step, and it's really unfair to rush Chase simply for the convenience of using the crib for his little brother.  I want him to transition into it naturally, as he would have were there no baby on the way.  So I'm going to let some more time pass and then allow things to organically unfold as they should.  I'm quite sure he'll let us know when he's truly ready to make that move!

Hope ya'all have a great week!!!!

 

38 Weeks Today!

Wordless Wednesday

   

   

   

 

   
We spend our Saturday mornings at "Daddy & Me" tumbling class at The Little Gym.
Chase @ 1 Year, 6 Months, & 2 Weeks

I'm Not the Mom I Want to be Right Now

 
 

I've always prided myself on my patience and tolerance, as a friend, as a wife, as a mom, as a psychologist, as a person.  So it's hard when you can feel that patience ebbing away, and as the third trimester of my pregnancy has progressed I've felt this way.  I've become increasingly short with Chase  and I know that I yell at him more than ever before.  Little things that toddlers do, such as darting off at every opportunity when outside, throwing their food off the high chair tray and onto the floor, kicking and resisting diaper changes, and tantrumming in the street to be picked up when my arms are filled with groceries just make me so frustrated.  After I've yelled loudly at him I feel so sad and ashamed... because I know my reaction is way more intense than required by the situation.  I mean, he should certainly be reprimanded for some of those things, especially when he's put himself in harm's way... but my tone is way harsher than I'd like.  It's hard when you feel powerless to control your mood and hormones.  I don't recall feeling this way with the first pregnancy, but then I didn't have anything as trying as keeping up with a spirited and sometimes willful toddler, while also balancing work and home.  

This has been exacerbated by the fact that I've been feeling unsupported and alone lately.  I do the bulk of the house-keeping and also most of the caring for Chase.  Derek has been struggling with some heavy, personal family stuff, along with a stressful, high profile case at his firm, that has kept him emotionally and physically not as present, which has worn on me.  Our communication isn't as good as it once was and I miss as well as resent him for that... even while the more rational side of me knows that he is struggling too.  We had a good talk about it tonight, in which I was able to express the frustration I've been feeling and what I need from him.  Ultimately, I said to him, I don't want Chase to be the one who suffers because of a pregnant, impatient, mean mom.  And we agreed that, despite what he's going through, he needs to step up a bit more and be there for me too... for the betterment of our family system.  

I felt a lot better after having this discussion.  I'm feeling like my husband and I are back on the same page again, where somewhere in the last few weeks we had fallen off.  I think we're both looking forward to the pregnancy being over and meeting Chase's brother.  I'm not under the delusion that the work load is going to get any easier... in fact, it will double and we're both aware of that.  Only I won't be laden with the emotional instability pregnancy can sometimes bring, causing me to fuss at Chase so much more than he deserves.  I feel like I'll be better able to give him what he needs, which is the consistently gentle, patient, and sweet mom I used to be.    

The Final Stretch

 

 Hi Folks,

So I haven't updated here in a while, and it's mainly because I've been trying to tie up loose ends over on the PR side.  I'm running a few contests and giving away some awesome prizes over there, so if you haven't already be sure to stop by and enter!  I decided to end all contests by 7/19, just because I have no idea when Baby Etheridge #2 is going to make his grand debut... and I don't want to have any outstanding deadlines.

Speaking of the baby... I'm really glad to tell you that intense pelvic pain I experienced a couple weeks ago has completely left! Thank GAWD for that! I just woke up one day.... and was able to get out of bed and move around without hobbling.  Now when I sit for a while then stand It's just the normal, 3rd trimester little twinges here and there.  But the excruciating pain is no longer.  I think it lasted maybe a total of six days?  I wouldn't wish that on anyone (lol).  Well now I can just enjoy the short remainder of this pregnancy without being bothered with that.

So... I can't say I'm prepared for the baby's arrival just yet.  We're still finalizing name choices, for one.  Transitioning Chase to his toddler bed... is not going well at all.  *smh*  It's interesting, I'm so much more disorganized now than I was when carrying Chase.  By 36 weeks with Chase I had my hospital bag packed... all his clothes were washed and folded in the drawers, diaper stacker was overflowing with newborn diapers, and I even had wipes in the warmer (which proved to be foolish, because that dang thing dried them out - hence why I stopped using it).  But now.... I haven't packed my bag (that's on my To Do list for next weekend).  And I also haven't gotten the baby's clothes together.  Derek actually picked up the boxes of Chase's infant clothes from where we had them stored.... so he brought that home today.  So next weekend is washing/putting away clothes.  Hopefully it'll be a productive weekend.  I thought this weekend would be but... it really wasn't.  I just felt completely lacking energy today... all I wanted to do was lay back on the couch and let the air blow on me.  So much for that 3rd trimester "nesting" period I enjoyed last pregnancy.  I can't believe I didn't even get my hair done this weekend.... I really wanted to do at least that.

I have my next OB appointment this Thursday.  I'm hoping we schedule the date of my cesarean at that time.  Chase arrived by (unplanned) c-section at 41 weeks, so with this pregnancy I've elected for a c-section as well, primarily for medical reasons.  Right now I'm conflicted about what day to choose - Sunday, August 1 or Monday, August 2?  I really want to do what's least disruptive for Chase, since c-sections are major surgery and require hospitalization for up to four days. Bummer. I get sad just thinking about leaving Chase.  I know he won't understand.

Anyhoo, hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  I hope it was more productive than mine, lol.

Wordless Wednesday

  

"Vaseline Mischief"
aka
This is what happens when you leave your toddler unattended... and he goes quiet in his bedroom for longer than 5 minutes, so you go in search of him to see what he's up to.

Chase @ 17 Months & 3 Weeks

Celebrating the Best 18 Months of My Life

 

"Then"

Chase @ 6 Months

 

"Now"

Chase @ 18 Months

I can't believe it's been 18 months today... exactly 18 months from the day Chase came into this world.  Goodness, so much has changed with him, and all of us really.  Our "baby" really isn't a baby anymore, but, dare I say, a little boy.  He's so mature and bright... and each week brings something new and special and exciting!  We've been busy keeping up with this precocious little tot, and he's been learning and growing like a weed. 

It's funny, I thought I'd feel all sad and nostalgic as Chase neared 2-years-old... but all I feel is delight.  He makes Derek and I laugh every day with his antics, and we never tire of talking about what cute new thing Chase got into that day, afternoon, or evening.  I feel only happiness as he fights for his independence - sometimes yanking his hand out of mine when we're walking down the street, or wanting to drink from a cup even though he has a hard time.  I know a part of my joy is relief - wanting him to be as "mature" as possible when his brother arrives, without having to "push" him there myself.  (I can't help but wonder how much more I'd miss the "baby stage" if he was an only child without any siblings on the horizon.)  

Today was his 18-month checkup and things looked very good.  He is 32" tall and weighs 27 lbs. 10 oz.  He's still a solid boy, but nothing like the chunky baby he was months ago.  He is in the 60th percentile in terms of height (he used to be in the 85th percentile!) so we're not so sure about him beating his dad's 6'3" frame anymore. :-)  I did talk to his pediatrician about my eye concerns and, while he expressed his opinion (that it was mere sleepiness), he immediately gave me the referral to an ophthalmologist.  

Meanwhile, while much has changed for Chase, many things have stayed the same.  He's still mesmerized by dogs, birds, and bicycles.  He still loves reading.  He especially loves to make people laugh, enjoys music, dancing, and singing, and loves to be chased.  I really like how social and unafraid of people he is - he loves to be the social butterfly at events (as long as mom and dad are within ear and eyeshot).  He's also gotten a little more tolerant of getting his teeth brushed (although his doc said he doesn't need to visit the dentist until he is 2-years-old or has at least 20 teeth).

 

He still love his little kitchen. He plays with it every single day.  Last month he started giving us "juice" to drink and the spoon to "eat" food from.  He even makes the chewing sound as he feeds us.  He also likes to put on his baseball cap and take my bag or a bucket, walk over to the front door, turn around and say "Bye bye," and then turn the knob.  (The other day he actually opened it, so now we have to use the bolt or chain!).  I love that he's starting to play pretend - it’s fun for all three of us and it’s so cool to get a glimpse into his imagination.

 

And boy has he reached a verbal explosion!  Every day he repeats new words.  Just today he said “Good job buddy!” and “No way!” for the first time. It’s been like that every day for the past month or two. It amazes us how quickly he learns and remembers words.

 

We helped celebrate Derek's second Father’s Day just a few weeks ago.  We went to play at the park and then followed it up with a trip to see his grandmother.  We also went out to dinner later that evening, and Chase did very well (no high-pitched screaming, flinging food off the table, or other meltdowns).  He adores his daddy so much and wants to do everything he does, watch everything he watches on TV (including "bay-ball"), and go everywhere he goes.

 

My favorite thing is that Chase has become really affectionate lately, seeking me and his dad out for hugs and kisses throughout the day.  We can never get enough of those!

Our Chase is really something else. He is incredibly sweet and so dern smart, it blows us away.  If he continues at the rate he's been learning, he'll be doing calculus next year. :-) We’re so proud of him and excited to see what the upcoming months bring.  He challenges us and keep us on our toes each day.  He really is a joy to parent, and all the silly, cute, loving things he does every day totally make up for the mental and physical exhaustion that can go along with raising a toddler.

Happy 18-months to Chase!!! Mommy and Daddy love you, Sweet!!!

"Every Pregnancy is DIFFERENT"

So annoying and cliche' when people had warned me of this but so true.  That reality is only now beginning to hit home for me.

My first pregnancy was pretty symptom free.  Very little fatigue, no headaches, no Braxton-Hicks or pre-eclampsia, and blah blah blah.  I was glowing and felt gorgeous throughout most of the pregnancy.  It was like I wasn't even pregnant.  This pregnancy started off the same way and, in fact, had been identical up until just a few days ago.  Thanks to my vigilance I've even gained weight at a slower rate so, as far as I was concerned, this pregnancy was even better.  But these days I feel so tired all the time... like my body's been taken over by an old lady.  No energy or stamina whatsoever, aches and pains where there weren't any before.  I'm sure having a toddler to keep up with, run after (yes, literally), and carry around when he gets "in that mood," has played a role.  But that's not all. 

Since Tuesday I've been experiencing extreme pelvic pressure/pain.  Everyone assures me this is normal and that for a lot of women it eases after a week or two - I've heard its the pelvic bones spreading as baby's head travels further down in preparation for child birth.  I have to tell you though, it's been very painful, especially when I first stand up.  It catches you off guard when you try to take a few steps and discover that you're paralyzed with pain.  I feel sharp, stabbing pains if I don't give myself a minute before attempting to move - so strong that I sometimes have to hold on to something lest I fall.  Then I slowly limp to wherever I need to go, holding on to things. 

I hate that people watch me with that sad look on their face like they wish they could help.  I just feel so silly!  See, I'm a private, stoic kind of lady, believe it or not, and I loathe that kind of attention.  I'm the type who won't ever take medication for pain (unless I have to) and who you'll never hear complain of feeling pain/discomfort, because I hate feeling/looking weak, especially when I know I can handle it. 

This morning I was feeling particularly helpless and sad that I don't have the energy to run and play with Chase like he deserves.  Derek reminded me that I shouldn't feel guilty about that.  We're a team, he said, and wherever I'm weak it's his place to fill in and be my strength.  That made me feel so good and I was reminded that, according to the Book of Genesis, I'm his rib.  Just feel me on this for a moment, please. Have you ever played sports and fractured a rib?  The pain is intense and relentless. As my husband's rib, whenever I feel pain - physical or emotional - he feels it that much worst... because I was taken out of his body.  He'll thus make it his personal mission to free us of that pain.  He took Chase out this morning to visit his grandmother and run some errands, and I had a chance to rest and just take it easy.  When they came back Chase took a good nap, and when he woke up I felt a lot better and we ended up walking across the street to the park where a music festival was going on.  Today was a much better day for me... and I hope for the remainder of the pregnancy I continue to have days like this. 

Anyhoo... I wonder if the fact that the baby is starting to drop means I'm going into labor naturally this time?  As ya'all know, Chase went a week past his due date and I had to be induced.  I have a feeling, just from the signs my body is giving me now, that things will go differently this time around!  This boy seems eager to come out and join his brother!  I saw my OB Thursday for a regular check-up and she said things looked fine.  Blood pressure was normal.  I go back in three weeks and then those (annoying) weekly appointments will begin shortly thereafter.

Enjoy the weekend!!!

33 Weeks & 6 Days Pregnant

Celebrating the Life of MJ

My sister Sibo celebrates the life of music legend, Michael Jackson, through a dance tribute she did with her dance team back in college.  Get it Sibo!!!!  

R.I.P. MJ!!!  We love you!!! 

Detecting Early Vision Problems in my Toddler

image source: Picture Book

Chase's 18-month check up is just a week away and, as always, I have my list of questions/concerns compiled that I want to discuss with his pediatrician.  Along with questions about when Chase should begin seeing the dentist, when we should start thinking about potty training, and whether or not it's okay that he isn't so good at eating with a spoon/fork just yet, my primary concern is his vision.

For the past couple months I've noticed that occasionally his eyes roll up into his head, or cross for a moment. I usually observe this in the rear view mirror when I'm driving home from work in the evening, or once we're settled inside and he's playing before bed.  I've also noticed it on weekends when his nap is due.  So I'd like to think it's just an idiosyncratic, reflexive motion maybe indicating that he's tired.  It doesn't happen often but, when it does, it's a little strange and a lot disturbing, and I'd really like to rule out the possibilities of something serious.

Of course, social media mom that I am, I did my internet research.  Now we all know that sometimes this does more harm than good.  I read several moms' accounts of this very same problem and, incidentally, it was happening when some of the babies were tired.  But a few moms did consult with their pediatrician, who recommended the baby going to see a neurologist for CAT scan (YIKES) or making an appointment to see the ophthalmologist.  Well, after reading these very alarming stories, I called Derek up all teary from work, ready to rush Chase off to the nearest emergency room.  He was able to gently assuage (and validate)  my fears and, after I was calmer, we discussed less drastic alternatives.  

I resolved that I'd discuss an eye doctor referral with the pediatrician at Chase's next appointment.  My only hope is that when I bring this up he takes it seriously as, historically, he's been the type to brush off some of my concerns as new mommy paranoia. I'd likely have to push for the neurologist consultation (and maybe that's premature anyway) but definitely would like a referral to an eye doctor.  You see, I have a history of terrible eyesight in my family... and so does Derek.  So we both already assumed that Chase would be in glasses by elementary school age.  I began wearing glasses in third grade. Derek started a little later, junior high school age.  My older sister, on the other hand, began wearing glasses at the young age of three.  So with Chase displaying these rather strange eye behaviors, coupled with the fact that one of his eyes seems a tiny bit unfocused at times, I'm eager to get the ophthalmologist's opinion.  

I was reading an article called "The Eyes Have It" in Washington Family Magazine and it really helped me understand baby/infant vision problems.  One line in particular made me a little sad: "A child assumes that the world sees as he does, not realizing that everyone else sees the leaves in the trees, rather than large fuzzy green balls."  I thought about how much Chase enjoys the outdoors, coloring, and reading books, and realized all the beauty he could be missing out on.  This only further affirmed my decision to speak with his pediatrician about my concerns next week.

I've always know there must be a way to detect early eye deficits, but couldn't for the life of me figure how one would go about diagnosing this in a child who can’t yet talk, read an eye chart, or understand that they see differently?  "The Eyes Have It" cleared up some of these questions, as it described some of the screening methods used for examining the vision of little ones.

Initial Screening (done by pediatrician)

• review the baby’s family history of vision problems for potential genetic issues.
• external examination of eyes and eyelids 
• series of exercises, such as following a dot of light, to ensure that the eyes are aligned and the lenses are not blocked    

Vision Testing (done by eye doctor)

• ocular photoscreening = measures a child’s visual reflexes and eye alignment. A preverbal child simply needs to fixate on the appropriate target for a few seconds for the photoscreening process to take place.
• Pediatric Vision Screener (PVS) = verifies the ability of both eyes to focus on a target at the same time. Kids between 2 and 4 years old with lazy eye or other issues can have the problem detected in this way long before they're able to tell us and in time for the problem to be repaired successfully.

So reading this article was pretty encouraging for me, and has certainly made me feel equipped for Chase's 18-month checkup.  I'm going in now knowing exactly what I want for my son, and prepared to express very concrete steps I'd like to take to get there.  His pediatrician is a pretty good guy so I don't foresee him trying to dissuade me or anything but, in the event that he does, I'll very politely inform him that I'm going forward with this with or without his seal of approval.  After all, I'm the mom here and it's all about what I think is in the best interest of my baby!