H1N1 and Revelations About Parenting

 
image source: Germs Are Not for Sharing (Best Behavior Series) by Elizabeth Verdick and Marieka Heinlen

The last couple months we've been struggling with the decision of whether or not to give Chase the H1N1 vaccine.  Derek and I have discussed the topic ad nauseum but as yet haven't come to any resolution.  The good news is that we're both on the same page... the not so good news is that page includes us wavering in our feelings about it.  Chase has actually had the first in a series of two (regular) flu shots already.  This came at the recommendation of his pediatrician, whom I trust whole-heartedly.  He goes back for the second next Saturday, in fact.  We chose to give him the flu shot because he is in daycare where he is exposed to many other kids and caretakers (read: germs!!!) throughout the day. I'm comfortable with this decision and in fact never had any concerns about it.

Now this swine flu business... it scares the bejesus out of us (maybe me more so than Derek).  There have been multiple reported cases of swine flu in the New York area and there are posted signs throughout his daycare, as well as at my job, listing symptoms that require you to stay home.  It's a continual reminder that the swine flu is here and to be vigilant.  And suddenly they've got this vaccine that they're recommending for folks, and in particular women who are expecting, babies, children, the elderly - basically those with compromised immune systems.  Now while I'm a pro-vaccine mommy I am nervous because I think it came out way too fast and, as far as I'm concerned, we don't know it's long term effects ( a la thalidomide of 1957-1961).  It's only been out since the summer and I don't trust it.  My understanding is that it contains mercury and is similar to a vaccine introduced in the 70's that treated a similar condition but caused folks to get Guillerre-Barre syndrome.  So I am reluctant to subject Chase to this until it has been studied more.  I just don't like it.

We obviously plan on taking normal sickness precautions, which we use every day anyway.  But I'm truly afraid that may not be enough.  Each time Chase gets sick (well it's only been twice since he was born - diarrhea each time) I get a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I start to get paranoid, wondering if it couldn't be something more serious than just a little stomach virus or teething.  And it's during those times that I say to myself (and Derek), "I definitely think we should get him vaccinated."  I wonder if a decision not to get him vaccinated is a selfish one - after all, aside from internet/message board research (and just how credible is that, really?) and brief chats with the pediatrician (who remains ambivalent), neither of us have taken the time to deeply investigate what the vaccine is about. I think we're both pretty much going on a gut feeling, or a hunch that something doesn't "feel right" about it.  But really, where is the science in that?  We owe our son more than that.  Decisions like this one are so hard... and I just don't feel prepared to make such an important one right now. However, I realize that being a parent doesn't work like that - you can't always make a decision when you're "ready."  Sometimes you have to be ready today.

Funny, I always knew that parenting would involve tough decisions about how to raise, teach, care for, and nurture our kids.  I just didn't think I'd have to make such a tough one until Chase was older.  And even then I thought it would be things like:

• Should we send Chase to private school?
• Should Chase have his own TV in his room (or is that encouraging isolation from the family, obesity, discouraging recreational reading, etc)? 

And as he gets older:

• When he's 15 and begging to get his ear pierced like all the other "cool" boys in the 10th grade, do we let him?
• Should he be allowed to take that little part-time job on weekends he's begging for, or should he be satisfied with his weekly allowance and focus all his extra attention on school and socializing?

I guess I never bargained for a "swine flu" and having to quickly make a (potentially) life or death decision for our 10 month old infant.  It's scary and it's very much here and in our face.  I've always been the type to consult with trusted others, for support, guidance, or direction, when I'm uncertain.  But I know this is a personal decision, and one that only me and Derek can make, along with our pediatrician.

In other (lighter) news.... just as I suspected, Daylight's Savings Time has meant nothing to Chase.  He's been up bright and early each morning at 5:00 am, which to him is actually 6:00 am.  He still co-sleeps next to me so on Monday he started out by tossing and turning in his little bed and chattering quietly to himself.  I think he realized it was still "night-night" and, to his credit, was trying hard to reign himself in. He wasn't able to contain his exuberance long, and soon he sat up and kneeled next to me.  He started patting my face mischievously, biting my nose, and giggling.  I mumbled that it was still "night-night,"  but when Derek got up to use the bathroom he grinned triumphantly.  This was evidence to him that it really was time to get up.  He stood up in his bed decisively and I went ahead and picked him up and laid him in between us, where he crawled around and stood up and flung himself down and writhed around in the sheets and played hide and seek with both of us until my alarm went off at 6:00 am.  Good times.  I truly love it. lol.  This has actually gotten me to work early/on time every day this week, which is a stupendous thing! No more snoozing til 6:30 am.

Comments

[Jenni Bowring]

We at Free Spirit Publishing are delighted to see our book, Germs Are Not for Sharing, at the top of your post! It certainly is a relevant book these days, with all the concern over H1N1 and germs in general. I would be happy to send any of our books for kids your way, if you'd like to see some review copies.

Cheers!
Jenni Bowring
Free Spirit Publishing
bowring@freespirit.com
http://www.freespirit.com

[Shantel]

I haven't vaccinated Braylon against H1N1 for the same reasons you're unsure about. The vaccine came out too fast, and I'm unsure of the long term effects. I pray everyday that he doesn't get sick on account of me not taking him in to get the shot - but my gut tells me something isn't right and I'd rather him not get something that would mess him up for the rest of his life.

[Adora]

well, the way I hear ppl talking about it at school and in the hospital (med student)...seems like most parents I know are getting it for their kids. So, if you dont get him vaccinated, Chase may be able to benefit from herd immunity...(obviously its early tho' so you cant totally rely on that)

[Christine]

I would strongly suggest to all parents to do the research, as you said just reading message boards and things are not credible sources. Yes there is mercury in the vaccine however it's less than a tin of tuna has and our body metabolizes it. This is a great Q&A from the government of Canada:

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/alert-alerte/h1n1/faq_rg_h1n1-eng.php#vac

I find that a lot of people are saying I don't trust the vaccine, it hasn't been tested, without reading the facts. It's illegal to administer a vaccine that hasn't been tested and the flu vaccine (that you gave your son) changes every single year and is only tested for 6 months. Every year WHO determines what strain of the flu goes into the flu shot and then it's tested for 6 months and then released to the public! H1N1 vaccine is exactly the same.

Of course all parents have to make their own decisions but I hope that all parents are doing their research.
Christine

[Stacie]

From my understanding, Mercury is the cause of most Autism cases. It appears they were putting Mercury in the vaccinations children are required to get. So, if the H1N1 vaccination also has Mercury in it, I wouldn't get it, pregnant or not, and I definitely wouldn't give it to my child. I don't believe in the flu shot vaccination either.