The Prissy Mommy Chronicles

Checking In

image source: Getty Images

Hey Folks!

I'm aware that I haven't posted a (respectable) blog in over a week and my apologies for that (Wordless Wednesday and Friday Recipe Exchange posts are fun "fillers" but don't count, right?)  Ehh, I wish I could name for you all the fabulous and important things that have kept me busy and consumed my life during my brief hiatus but it would be a lie.  The truth is that I've been:

♥ catching up on my mindless (but really juicy!) Tivo'ed television programs.  I'd fallen terribly behind and the DVR is set to delete shows in a series after five so... I had to get on that.  Bring on "Tiny & Toya," "The Wendy Williams Show," "In Treatment," and "Real Housewives of ATL".... Aaaah yes, all my favorite guilty-pleasures!  New season of "American Idol" starting in January...?  Don't mind if I do!

♥ re-dedicating myself to the health of my hair, spending more time on the hair boards that I'd sorely neglected, and figuring out my next mane move (Do I dare risk color? How about layers?  Bangs?  Mama needs a CHANGE!!!)

♥ crafting a thoughtful letter to my favorite talk show hostess, telling her about the rising popularity of mom bloggers and explaining to her why she needs Yours Truly sitting on her couch telling the world (esp. PR companies!) how fabulous but under-represented African-American mom bloggers are.

♥ beauty - I've seriously fallen off my beauty game and it's gotten to a point where it's unacceptable at best.  I'm almost beginning to feel unworthy of the descriptor "prissy" in my blog title, considering how lackadaisical I've gotten.  I'd always prided myself on my appearance in the past and I don't want to be one of "those" mamas whose appearance takes a forever downward turn after the arrival of the kids. Not fair to myself, not fair to my man, not fair to the babe (who deserves a gorgeous mom who can and will set the standard for all the little floozies he eventually brings to meet me).

So I've been making sure my nails are pretty and filed, have been con-washing my hair more frequently between salon visits, and also bought a few cute new shoes (spawned by Derek's deliberately casual: "Sweetheart, I'm going to get you some new shoes" after work one day.  Me, taken aback: "Why, do I need shoes, Derek? What are you trying to say?"  Derek: "No, of course not! I just thought... you might want some new ones."  Me: "Derek, do my shoes look old.... Do they look bad?  Or is it just that I wear the same ones all the time?"  *silence*)

♥ studying for my licensing exam - I'll have "officially" completed my post-doctoral clinical hours in October and will be eligible to take the exam at that time.  I began at the hospital last July but took three months of maternity leave and those hours were of course deducted.  So October will put me at a full year of licensure hours.  I'm in no rush.... the idea of taking this exam terrifies me to no end and, if not for all of the pressure via my job PLUS the benefits that come with getting licensed (namely, more respect and a raise), I'm sure I'd avoid it for as long as I could get away with it.  That just isn't realistic, however.

♥ attempting to get serious about losing weight and getting healthier.  Chase is 8 months now and I can no longer utter the "just had a baby" excuse to justify these extra pounds (not with a straight face anyway).  Oh, it's past due... but sometimes we just need that "in your face" reality check (a la viewing your obese self on video in the swimming pool with your son) to serve as that firm, swift kick in the butt.  Know what I mean?

In an effort to move toward this goal I've 1) purchased a good digital scale for our bathroom 2) dusted off my Shawn T "Hip Hop Abs" dvds 3) picked out some super cute outfits in sizes 4/6 (my pre-pregnancy size) that I'd like to purchase as motivation and 4) am starting to be waaaay more mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth. 

"Motivation Outfits"

Ann Taylor

Cache' & ASOS

♥ and last, but certainly not least, responding to reader mail.  I'd fallen behind and it's important to me to respond to each and every email that I get.  I'll be honest - this is something I sucked at with Girly Home Webzine and I'm trying hard to improve my trifling ways with this blog...

Just realizing how vast the internet is and that someone out there has selected my blog to read and/or subscribe to is both humbling and motivating.  In the blogosphere, your readers/subscribers are really an important part of the experience and I appreciate each and every reader.  So... I'm trying hard to be more diligent about getting back to folks who have reached out to me on an individual basis - let folks know how much I appreciate their reading and supporting my blog.

Sorry about the "bulleted" post today but really I've got so many things swirling around in my little head that this was the only way I could convey it all to you.  Hope you enjoy tomorrow's Wordless Wednesday pic and I'll be back with a "real" post shortly!

Muchas Smoochas!

Healthy Hair 101: Protecting Your Hair While Swimming

"Reader Mail"

Hi Yakini,

I was hoping you could provide me with a bit of hair care advice.  My daughters swim every day during the summer and I am on a mission to maintain their hair.  I have purchased sooo many hair products for the girls, but would like recommendations particularly with products that are useful for *hair care, growth, and maintenance during these summer months.  This would really help with my little ones being in the pool so often.  Thanks!

image source: Getty Images

I received this email a couple months back and decided it was appropriate to share especially now that I've begun Mommy and Me swim lessons.  I sent this reader a response then and will share some of what I disclosed to her with you all as well.

Well, for many of us summer time equals swim time, and we all know sun and chemicals can do quite the number on our skin (Yes, brown skin included!  Our natural melanin can only protect us so far).  But how much thought have you given your hair?  Without taking the proper preventative measures, a chlorinated pool (or salty ocean water) can cause our hair to become dry and brittle which of course equals breakage.  African-American (4a/b and 3c type hair) is especially prone to this kind of damage.

Protecting your hair need not be so arduous a task. Below I've listed a few important recommendations and, if you follow these guidelines, you'll  preserve the hair you've (hopefully) been so diligently caring for.  Right now you should be enjoying your summer time growth spurt, not nursing brittle, chlorine-damaged hair back to health!

Preparing to Swim:

♥ Do get your hair wet (in the shower) before entering the pool.   Hair that's already wet soaks up less chlorine and sea salt than dry hair -  our hair is essentially like a sponge in that once it has absorbed all it can very little else can get into it.  Do not shampoo before you get in the water.  While water helps you out, shampoo strips your hair of its natural oils and other build-up that can act as a barrier between your hair and the chlorine.

♥ Apply conditioner generously throughout your wet hair. When your hair is full of conditioner chlorine will have less of an impact on it, and conditioner will also help keep your hair tangle-free once you get out.  Mind you, don't saturate your hair to the point that it's dripping in your eyes once you've hit the warm, sauna-like water.  Just use enough to give your hair a protective coating.  I focus especially on the ends.  I suggest using a "cheapie" conditioner for this process (read = < $4).  Depending on how frequently you swim, you'll go through a lot of conditioner and you don't want to break your budget in the name of protecting your hair.  I would recommend the likes of a VO5 or Suave Conditioner. 

 

♥ Braid and pull back your hair before getting in the pool.  This allows less of your hair to be exposed to the water.  As you saw in the pictures/videos of me at swim class, I had pulled my hair back to form a loose bun.  I didn't intend on going under water and thus went in sans swim cap.

♥ If you do plan to be underwater invest in a quality swim cap.  After wetting/conditioning your hair, I would recommend first covering it (with a plastic cap or satin bonnet) before placing the swim cap over it.  This will further protect your hair from any water that may seep under, as well as breakage along your hairline that could result from a tight swim cap.  However, that's just me and my anal retentiveness when it comes to my hair.

Post-Swim Hair Care:

♥ It's important to rinse any chlorine out of your hair after swimming.  Even if you don't have time for a full post-swim regimen immediately afterward, rinsing the chlorine out right away will temporarily suffice.

♥ Some people like to use a shampoo that is specific for swimming.  I understand that JF Lazartigue has a great after-swimming shampoo that claims to be mild enough for daily use but will help with the removal of chlorine and subsequently prevent damage. 

 

Personally, I've tried after-swimming shampoo and found it drying for my hair - similar to the effect of using a clarifying shampoo without conditioning afterward.

♥ In lieu of swimming shampoo, I would recommend simply con-washing afterward with a light, moisturizing conditioner that doesn't leave your hair dry or sticky.  I strongly believe that con-washing is enough - not a fan of shampoo at all, especially if you are swimming frequently and using it multiple times per week.  Here are a few moisturizing conditioners that I love:

 

Organix Smoothing Shea Butter Conditioner - pure indulgence, if you are willing to spend a little more

Redken Smooth Down Butter Treat Conditioner - deliciously rich and creamy, leaves hair feeling like silk!

 
Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Deep Conditioner - very popular choice, leaves hair soft but strengthened

Keep in mind that different folks experience varying results with different conditioners, so you'll need to determine which one your hair responds to best.  After con-washing multiple times per week, your hair may have build up.  By this time a good shampoo/deep conditioner is in order; however, once a week should suffice.

♥ Don't forget to seal with your fav carrier oil after con-washing.  This is a very important step!  In my case I use garlic oil but other oils that I really like include coconut oil and extra virgin olive oil (EVOO).  (Once I know for certain that all my post-partum shedding has ceased I'm definitely going to get back to these staples).

I hope these tips are helpful for you... I'm realizing now that I probably should have posted this earlier in the summer when folks were just beginning to hit up the beaches and pools - duh!  It didn't occur to me to blog about this until Chase and I started our own lessons.  My bad, girls.  Better late than never though, right?

Do you have any swim hair care tips that you swear by?  Post them here!

Post-Partum Hair Updates II

It's about three months following the last hair update in which I discussed post-partum shedding that had caused my temples to thin. I've since been nursing the edges and sticking to an otherwise minimal regimen that includes:

• once weekly con-washing at home (with Suave Creamy Coconut conditioner)
• oiling my scalp/sealing ends with Aceite De Ajo by Alopecil (Garlic Oil Capilar).
• dust split ends on an as-needed basis
• wear my hair in a braid wound into a bun most days
• sleep with either a satin bonnet or scarf. 
• discontinued Biotin altogether as I wasn't willing to deal with the breakouts this time around

As a reminder, here are pictures of how my hairline looked three months ago.  *Yikes*

 

Here are pictures (taken today) of my temples and hair line.

 

Ay yi yi yi yi!!! *happy dance* As you can see the temples have pretty much filled back in!  I'm of course thrilled about that, but hesitant to attribute this to any one aspect of my regimen.  Obviously garlic is known for decreasing shedding, and I've certainly been consistent with using the garlic oil regularly.  However, I simultaneously  cut back on wearing my satin bonnet each night. The bonnet would have a tendency to slip from mid-forehead and rest right at the hairline, and that has been known to cause thinning at the edges.  I also stepped up my water game (big time) over the last 3 months... and the list of "little" changes goes on and on. So who knows what to really attribute this too.

Salon Visit:

This morning I was up bright and early with the intentions of being first in the chair as soon as the salon opened at 8:00 am.  As most of you know, I've been going to Sisters Unisex for the last 8 years.  I love how they handle my hair, but most of all appreciate the attitude of the ladies in the salon.  Very cool energy, and they're respectful of your needs/wishes and don't try to pressure/coerce you into doing anything you don't want to do.  That's a big deal to me.

I first joined the hair boards in 2005 and have pretty much been caring for my own hair since that time. You see, in August 2005 I made the decision to start taking better care of my hair, stop relying on weaves for length, and do only what works for me, rather than following the advice of a stylist or hair magazine.  Today, quite frankly, I know more about hair health/growth than many stylists who work in a salon... most of us on the hair boards do, in fact.  If that sounds cocky....  Seriously though, it feels GREAT no longer being dependent upon a salon or stylist to achieve healthy hair (in fact, my hair was the shortest and most damaged when I was living in Maryland and dependent upon salons for advice/hair care). I go now because I enjoy the way the Dominicans shampoo me and roller set me, as I'm too lazy to do this on my own.  Moreover, you're in and out in two hours, max.  No idle chit-chat in the stylist chair (as is common at black salons) because most of the girls don't speak English well (I'm not being racist - they really don't).  This works for me, because I've always loathed that superficial, intrusive banter. I like to get in that chair and monitor what's going on then zone out... text message, read a book, or day dream. 

Today she washed me with my long-time staple, Aceite de Oliva shampoo by Nacidit.  My hair needed this, as I'd only con-washed since my last visit to the salon (over a month ago) and I'm sure there was plenty of build-up of product. 
 
Today I decided to try a new conditioner.  I looked through their extensive array of products and selected the Miss Key 10 in 1 Super Conditioner hair treatment.  You see, I definitely prefer to use Dominican products in my hair (with the exception of the Suave conditioner, because it's just so darn  slippery, yummy, and my hair loves it!!!).  Anyway, so I'd been hearing lots of good stuff about the 10 en 1 and wanted to try it for myself.

So the 10 en 1 supposedly contains a mix of the most important products for hair damaged by dyes and sun's harmful effects. It's considered a super conditioner. I didn't have a chance to read the ingredients on the container as I normally would have (so can't comment on that) but I plan to google it tonight and find out what this conditioner contains.  I must say I did like how soft and silky my hair felt after using this conditioner - so it gets a thumbs up with that regard.  However, I feel that I get the same results from the Avocado Cholesterol Cream conditioner that is my general staple.  I think I'm going to try this 10 en 1 conditioner a couple more times and see if I notice any long-term improvement. It's supposed to have the additive, balancing affect of protein + moisture, which is interesting to me.

She used the Capile Rinse Aceite de Oliva to detangle.  I love, love, love this product.... so creamy and thick with GREAT slip!  Mind you, I don't comb my hair but maybe once per week, so it's plenty tangled once I get to the salon.  But the comb just glides through my hair when it's saturated with this rinse. 

Aaah, I forgot to mention, another reason I love my Dominican salon is because it's so freaking cheap.  Definitely an affordable indulgance, so it's guilt free.  Let's look at what I spent today:

Round-trip commute = free (used Derek's monthly train pass)
Wash, Roller Set, Deep Condition = $23
Tip = $5
___________
The Damage = $28

Gotta love it. *smile* You see, at my former salon (non-Dominican), the services I received today would likely have come to around $60.... plus a headache from a wait of about 2 hours before getting in the chair, arguing with stylists about what I don't want them doing to my hair, and having to catch folks up on my life and/or listen to their foolishness/personal business.

Anyhoo, so here are a few length shots.  (The rest of the progress pictures are in my Hair Journal, so email me for the link if you haven't already got it.)

I feel compelled to mention that my ends look way better in person.  I promise you, they're so not that stringy and certainly not split.  *Yeah, isn't that what they all say?* LOL!!! But seriously though, this picture is the result of uncombed hair contained in a satin bonnet, abruptly  yanked off for a "quickie" photo shoot with a slightly impatient Derek.  Since Nichole and Nabs aren't available to take my hair pictures I'm having to rely on Derek.  He doesn't know how to comb it and spread it nicely across my back like the girls, but he does try his best (Bless his heart) and I appreciate his suppport/contribution to my hair goals.

Chase got antsy, because he isn't used to the spotlight not being completely on him when a camera comes out... so he bogarded his way into the photo shoot (lol). 

Ummmm, I think that's it for hair updates.  Feedback... comments... questions?  Leave it in a comment and I'll respond back in a comment or via email (if it's very specific/personal).  Okay, I'll be back in 3 months with more progress pictures.

CLICK HERE to return to the Homepage.

Healthy Hair 101: Protein Treatment

"Reader Mail"

Dear Yakini,

I read your healthy hair post last week and it was really helpful, thanks.  My hair is still shedding though and I'm not sure what to do.  Every time I comb it I find broken pieces on the floor and in my comb.  It's gotten to a point where I don't even want to comb my hair any more. I've gotten the 2-step moisturizing process down pat, but now what?  Any help you can give me would be appreciated.

Dear Reader,

Thanks for reading!  What you're describing actually sounds like breakage.  You see, a shed hair is long (the length of a full strand) and has a bulb at one end.  Shedding is a natural process.  Breakage is NOT natural and can totally be prevented! Usually breakage is caused by a lack of moisture or protein (or both).  It sounds like what your hair might be missing is the latter.  Protein treatments are important when you want to strengthen the hair cuticle and  prevent breakage and split ends. 

It's also important to note that healthy hair starts from the inside out.  If you don't think you're getting enough protein in your diet then add a protein shake. In the past I've drank Perfect Zero Carb Isopure Whey Protein (vanilla).  It's delish, especially when you throw in some fresh fruit and honey!   

There are many protein treatments on the market and below I've discussed one of my favorite protein staples. Hope this helps!

Why Use Protein?

Since hair is made up of about 70% keratin protein, giving it a good, hardcore protein treatment will help to strengthen it from the inside out.  Protein treatments have important restorative and fixative value that is essential for damaged, chemically processed hair.

My protein treatment of choice, the Aphogee Treatment For Damaged Hair, repairs the hair for up to six weeks and then needs to be repeated.  You'll find that it keeps the hair shaft strong and prevents breakage before it even starts.

Before You Begin

I know that the Aphogee has a bit of a "reputation."  I'll admit that I was quite nervous the first time I tried it... I'd heard the "stories" (of how rock hard the hair becomes during application) and wasn't sure if it was really for me.  However, after you've tried this ONCE and gotten the initial “scare” out of the way.... it really becomes quite fun!  Watching your hair harden before your eyes, like the helmet of a Warrior Princess, is very cool!

*Please note that I find it best to do this without a shirt on and without a towel around the neck.*

The reason why it’s best to be shirtless is because, as your hair starts to harden and dry, it sticks to the surface of whatever it is touching. If you have a towel around your neck, or a shirt on, the hair may stick to the fabric.... and you may unable to remove it without tearing the hair.  If you opt to leave your hair down rather than pinned up during the treatment, try not to move your head around too much as it hardens/dries and sticks to your back.  While the sensation of that is very annoying, it’s best to leave it be, lest you inadvertently tear/break the strands.

Now You're Ready To Get Started

1) Two weeks after a touch-up I use the Aphogee protein treatment. After shampooing, saturate hair with the Aphogee treatment. Do NOT comb through. Use your fingers to gently and quickly work it into the hair.

2) Apply heat to the hair, using a hooded dryer or a blow dryer with funnel attachment. You should feel your hair harden, like a helmet. Do NOT try to comb or manipulate your hair during this time. If your hair is long (i.e., beyond armpit) make certain to concentrate the heat toward the ends, so that can harden as well.  I pin my hair up using one giant bobbi pin.

3) Once your hair is hard all over, rinse the treatment out THOROUGHLY. As soon as the water starts to hit it, you should feel the hair start to soften immediately. At this point, you still don’t need to use your fingers/comb to manipulate the air. The pressure from the water will be sufficient to soften the hair.

4) Follow up with the Aphogee Moisturizing Humuctant. I then apply another moisturizing conditioner, usually a cheap condition (i.e., Suave Toasted Coconut or V05) blended with a few heaping spoons of honey and olive oil. I let this to sit in my hair for about fifteen minutes before rinsing.

*NOTE* It is essential to MOISTURIZE after a strong protein treatment, as overuse of a protein conditioner can cause the hair to feel dry and straw-like.

5) Moisturize with a generous amount of the ORS Olive Oil OR the Cantu Shea Butter: Break Cure & Strengthening Treatment and then roller-set or dry as desired (I usually will form one plait and air-dry).

*NOTE* An intense protein treatment like this one is ONLY necessary every 6-8 weeks (as needed), and it will keep the hair shaft strong and prevent breakage before it even starts.

Final Note

As you can probably tell, your hair is VERY fragile throughout this entire process. However, just be very cautious during this process, and you will see that it is well worth the mess and hassle!

My hair responds well to strong protein, but that doesn't mean yours will too.  I use Aphogee Treatment For Damaged Hair every 10 weeks, but I sometimes use a milder protein treatment in between.  I like the ORS Hair Mayonnaise as a pre-shampoo treatment but there are plenty of other gentler protein treatments on the market. Find the one that is best for you!

image source: Fotosearch

CLICK HERE to return to the Homepage.

Healthy Hair 101: Overview

"Reader Mail"

Dear Yakini,

I am in the beginning stages of trying to take care of myself: skin, hair, and body.  So you can imagine my joy when I saw your website!  My question is about my hair. It is soooooo thin. What do you recommend to aid in thickening it up? 

I'm in the process of washing and deep conditioning once a week now so we shall see if this helps at all.  Are there any special conditioners you'd recommend?  What about vitamins?  Hair tips!  Anything would be greatly appreciated!  I'm looking forward to all of your updates and advice.  I will be sharing your site with all of my friends!

Thanks

Dear Reader,

Thanks for the lovely email!  I'm always happy to share healthy hair tips from my regimen with other ladies.  Be mindful, however, that I have extremely fine-textured and soft, type 4a hair that is mildly relaxed.  So I designed my regimen with minimal manipulation in mind, as this is what has allowed me to retain length while also thickening the hair shaft.

I encourage you to use these tips as a guide to help you develop a personalized regimen, based on your own hair type and needs.

---

Overview

As I've indicated, my hair is naturally very fine and that is genetic.  However, prior to 2005 it was thinner and limper than it had to be.  This is before I joined an online hair community and learned to properly care for it.  At this time my hair was seriously thin and over-processed, primarily from relaxing too frequently and also indulging in one too many Dominican blowouts.  Further, the ends were split and raggedy.  [Aside: I am a major advocate of Dominican salons today.  However, now I only get the roots blown out after a rollerset].   

In August 2005 I made the decision to start taking better care of my hair, stop relying on extensions for length, and do only what works for me, rather than following the advice of a stylist or hair magazine.  It was at this time that I began to discover the factors that were keeping my hair thin and contributing to breakage. 

---

Past Mistakes

• roughly combing my hair every day, throughout the day
• wrapped my hair every night, in the SAME direction, and securing the wrap with a BRUSH
• relaxing my hair every 6 weeks, and sometimes a few days sooner, if I felt that it "needed" it
• using a regular touch-up, when all my hair ever needed was mild
• playing in my hair with my fingers (combing through it absent-mindedly and/or twirling it around my fingers)
• failing to wear protective styles (i.e., wearing it down often, so that the ends were frequently brushing against my rough cotton coat or shirt)
• not moisturizing properly, especially not the ends. This resulted in dandruff and dry, rough ends that would break easily
• trimming too much and too often. A good trim 1-2 times per year is all you really need... that is, if you protect the ends and DUST them regularly to remove splits
• dying my hair, using permanent dye with bleach, repeatedly, several times a year (out of sheer boredom)
• using a curling iron on a daily basis

---

Since embarking upon my healthy hair journey in 2005 I've picked up some really valuable tips.  I'm pleased to note that my hair is substantially thicker and had also reached waist length (prior to my cutting it back to bra strap length during my first trimester).  I attribute this progress to a number of reasons:

Thicker, Healthier Hair

*Note* These are tips that work for me.  Various hair types require varying levels of care, so make sure you tweak your regimen and do what works for yours!

Drink lots of water and eat a healthy, balanced diet! Healthy hair begins from within. Your hair, skin, AND nails will thank you!

Sometimes it isn't possible to get all the nutrients our body needs from our daily diet.  Vitamins will complement your diet as well as help to stimulate your hair's growth rate.  I suggest taking a multi- and hair vitamin.  I recommend:
Biotin (10 mg)
One A Day For Women
B-100 Complex (optional)

Avoid DIRECT heat at all costs. That includes flat-irons, blow dryers, and curling irons.

In lieu of direct heat, roller set under a hooded dryer (indirect heat) to dry, with large magnetic rollers. Then finger tousle, rather than comb out, your hair... as the curls fall naturally, this makes for a really sexy, big, wavy look! Very "Charlie's Angels."

Pin curl your hair at night to maintain that fresh-out-of-the-salon, bouncy look. For a curly/roller set look, make the pin-curl smaller. For a looser, wrapped look, make the pin-curl looser..... OR just tuck the hair under your satin bonnet and sleep with it loose.

Shoulder Length Ladies: When hair is shoulder length it's even MORE prone to breakage because it's in contact with your clothing. The frequent rubbing against rough wool and cotton is fraying those ends!

Avoid wrapping if you can (especially fine-haired ladies). Over time, it may thin out your hair on one side. If you MUST wrap, alternate directions nightly.

Try "stretching" your relaxer.  See if you can go 2-3 months instead of <6 weeks. This prevents overlap of the chemicals onto the previously relaxed hair, and avoids weakening of the hair.  Eventually, your hair will be stronger. There are some women who can stretch for 4 months plus. Do only what works for YOU. I find that stretching this long isn't good for my fine hair, so at the most i'll stretch for 8-9 weeks.

Go with the mildest relaxer that you can! How do you really know that you need that super.... or that regular? If a milder relaxer can straighten your hair to your liking, then opt for this one!  I recommend experimenting with a milder relaxer for one touch-up just to see how your hair likes it. 

As long as the ends of your hair are exposed.... they aren't protected!  During your grow out process, they should be seen only rarely. Find a style that allows you to moisturize and tuck those ends in.  (Click the thumbprint to enlarge image of my protective style).

Be creative AND frugal! Use what's in your kitchen.  Add eggs or mayonnaise (protein) honey, ripe avocado, coconut milk, or coconut/olive oil (softness/silkiness/moisture), crushed garlic (prevents breakage), or cayenne pepper (stimulates scalp) to your conditioning treatments for at-home special pampering treatments!

Dust as needed.  I haven’t had a "major" trim in years.  And I really don’t need it! If you protect the ends well, all you'll require is an occasional dusting. You'll NEVER see growth if you allow your stylist to give you a trim with every touch-up! While fresh, bluntly cut ends are attractive, be mindful that this is an aesthetic preference and has very little do with growth!*

If the ends have already split or thinned you have no choice but to cut them.  Best to get rid of the damaged ends now....then protect, protect, protect! The good news is that after one GOOD trim, all you'll need to do is dust for maintenance from that point on.

Try not to comb your hair every day! The less you comb/manipulate your hair, the less your ends risk breaking off (especially during the early phases of your hair journey, when your hair is still vulnerable/damaged). The growth that you retain will be well worth it! Combing when wet is best for me.  When I do comb dry, I use a soft, medium- to wide-toothed comb.  If you can find a seamless comb, even better.

Whenever possible, avoid brushing your hair.  The bristles of a brush are harsh and may snap your hairs, resulting in unnecessary breakage. 

Your hair is made up of about 70% Keratin Protein. Essentially, you NEED protein for healthy hair! If you don't think you are getting enough protein in your diet, then add a protein shake. In the past I've drank Perfect Zero Carb Isopure Whey Protein in mango peach.  It is delish! Have fun and throw some fresh fruit and honey in it!

My hair responds well to strong protein, but that does not mean yours will too.  I use Aphogee Treatment For Damaged Hair every 10 weeks, but I may sometimes use a milder protein treatment in between.  I like the ORS Hair Mayonnaise as a pre-shampoo treatment. Topical protein is just as important as internal protein!

Deep condition your tresses at least once per week, for a minimum of 15-20 minutes.  I exclusively use Dominican products (Aceite de oliva shampoo by Capile or Nacidit, Aceite de oliva rinse for detangling, Avocado Cream Conditioner with cholesterol for deep conditioning).  However, there is a wide array of shampoos/conditioners on the market, and I urge you to do your research, experiment with a few, and find what your hair likes/responds to!

Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!!!! This is a 2-Step Process: moisturize & seal.  African-American (Type 3-4) hair is naturally drier than Type 1-2 hair.... so it's important that we keep our hair moisturized in order to retain our growth. Otherwise, it will grow.... and then break right on off.

Still not getting enough moisture? You may want to consider "baggying" your entire head at night. Here's how a frugal lady like me baggies: I use one of the cheapie plastic caps from the drug store, or saran wrap/plastic grocery bag if I've run out.  Moisturize as usual, bun loosely, wrap the plastic around my head closely, and put on my silk scarf to secure. You will find that your hair is slightly damp in the morning, and that's okay. In the morning your hair is already styled (the same bun from last night) and all you need to do is use your fingers to "clean it up," i.e., lightly scrape back any hairs that are awry. The brush/comb does not need to touch your hair at all during this process.

Shedding is natural. A shed hair is long (the length of a full strand) and has a bulb at one end. Breakage is NOT natural! If you are finding short, broken hairs on your shirt and/or the floor when you comb or style this may be an indication that you are lacking protein, moisture, or BOTH!

Consider using Henna, especially if you have FINE strands like me.  Henna thickened my strands substantially, and also added a lovely, subtle auburn tint. It was somewhat drying, so I did have to increase my moisturizing to counter this. At one point I was using the Henna weekly, then my schedule no longer permitted.  After I stopped the results of the Henna lasted for a few months, and then I found that my hair reverted to its natural finer texture. Refer to my Henna article for more about my experiences with this.

Treat yourself sometimes! Although I'm a major advocate of protective styling, I do wear my hair out on the weekends and special occasions.  I find that wearing a bun, or similar updo, is an attractive, conservative look for work.  However on the weekends it's fun to "let my hair down" in every sense of the word. I encourage you to do the same! 

---

*More On Trimming

In the past I trimmed with every relaxer, per my stylist's suggestion. I had been conditioned to believe that this is what you are "supposed" to do. Thus, although my hair "looked" and certainly was healthy, I was not seeing any growth at all.  Essentially, my stylist was trimming off the 1/2" of new growth I got monthly.... so I never saw a difference in length.  My hair remained at one length for years.

These days I wear my hair in a protective style Monday through Thursday, which keeps the ends free of most destructive elements.  For the last several years I have only gotten my ends "dusted," as needed.  I dust about 3-4 times per year, and I find that is plenty.  I realize now that anything more is excessive and would only derail my hair goals.

The lesson learned: While fresh, bluntly cut ends certainly do look nice, as long as you roller-set your hair, protective style a few times throughout the week, wrap/roll it at night, avoid direct heat, and keep it relatively healthy.... you should be able to avoid most split ends, and a trim with each touch-up becomes unnecessary.

---

Concluding Remarks

Achieving healthy hair is a process and it does take time.  However, if you are reading this post and have reached the end, it means you have decided to take back control of your hair, as I took control in 2005.  Congratulations to you!  That is the FIRST step, and a very important one. 

In this post, I listed many practices that you can begin to incorporate into your regimen that will ultimately result in thicker, healthier hair.  The last, and perhaps most valuable, piece of advice I will give is to have fun and enjoy your hair journey, every step of the way!  It is amazing what you will learn, about your hair and also about yourself, as you evolve and grow in this journey.

CLICK HERE to return to the Homepage.

Post-Partum Hair Updates I

During my pregnancy I did very little with my hair.  I mainly wore buns and occasionally con-washed.  I rarely went to the beauty salon, and relaxed a total of two times--early in the second trimester and then right before I was due (gotta look cute in the hospital! *smile*)  I pretty much halted my entire hair regimen.  I ceased all vitamins (except prenatals), didn't use Boundless Tresses/MTG, didn't Henna, no deep conditioning, and so on and so forth.  This was primarily because much of that wasn't safe during pregnancy or while breastfeeding. Truthfully, it was kind of nice being lazy and doing nothing to my hair.

Despite this gross neglect, my hair thrived and looked amazing throughout my pregnancy! I had cut it back to Armpit Length just after my second trimester, so it was blunt cut and full.  It was extremely thick, lustrous, and felt so silky to the touch.  My new growth seemed to be softer and coming in with a looser curl pattern.  Overall, my hair never looked better!  As you probably know, when we're pregnant our body undergoes significant hormonal changes, including an increase in estrogen production.  This affects our natural hair growth cycle, causing some hair follicles to shift into the anagen (growth) phase of the cycle so an above average number of follicles are producing hair. The increased estrogen will also inhibit some follicles that are in the catagen (shedding) phase so less hair is lost during this time.  Due to these changes to the hair growth cycle many pregnant women will experience a boost in hair thickness, hair volume, and hair length.

Of course, after you've delivered your baby and the placenta that nourished baby is also delivered your body experiences a dramatic drop in estrogen levels. At this point our hair follicles now enter the shedding phase.  (Shedding = hairs coming out from the root.  Breakage = small pieces that break off at the ends). Other follicles will be affected during this time and enter the telogen (resting) phase. Since no new hair growth is being produced but hair shedding is increased dramatically, we sometimes experience hair loss.  Of course, once the body readjusts itself to its pre-pregnancy levels of function the hair growth cycle should also return to normal.

With that said, I was already expecting these changes to occur in my hair post-partum.  No surprise when my hair looked great during pregnancy, and also no surprise to discover hair loss post-partum.   Being the hairnista that I am, I actually started a post-partum regimen immediately after delivery with the expectation that some shedding might occur.  The main product I decided to introduce to my (at this time) very simple regimen was garlic.  Yes, I said garlic!  Garlic is a pretty common and effective way to help minimize shedding. You can take garlic supplements or use garlic-based products (i.e., Queen Helene's Garlic shampoo, Alter Ego nourishing garlic conditioner).  Of course, if you're a DIY'er like me, you can make your own garlic conditioner simply by blending several cloves of garlic in your conditioner of choice. You can also make a hot oil treatment by infusing garlic into your oil of choice (i.e., olive oil  or, in my case, Aceite De Ajo by Alopecil--since I use Dominican products almost exclusively).

Post-Partum Hair Pics

Front/Edges of Hair

5/17/09

As I mentioned, I discovered a couple of months after my baby was born that the front of my hair and temples had thinned significantly.  I really don't know when or how it happened--but one day I realized that my hairline had receded noticeably.  It's quite apparent when I have my hair pulled back into a ponytail, but otherwise not so obvious.  Either way, it's important to me that I curb this shedding and get those edges to fill in.  I'm so glad I started this garlic regimen early, as I suspect the problem may have been even worse had I been doing nothing at all.  I have a few pictures so you can see the post-partum shedding and present state of my hair.

 

I always had slight indentions on either side, but never so far back or pronounced. 

 

Back of Hair

5/16/09

No real complaints here.  In an effort to really start anew and take back control of my hair, I opted for a fresh trim last weekend.... first one in about 9 months. I needed it! My last cut was during my second trimester.  At that time there was no real reason for the trim--an impulse decision, if you will. I blame it on the hormones. *smile*  It grew back fairly quickly. This time I told the stylist not to worry about giving me a blunt cut, but just to take off the split ends (because you know how they do... my hair would have been a chin length bob!)

 

Front of my hair is quite shorter, which lends for a V or U-shape in the back (depending on the trim).

 

More photos in my Hair Journal.  Leave me a comment requesting the link if interested.

These days I'm still doing very little... bunning most days for work, con-washing every other weekend, essentially just minimizing manipulation. I don't get to the salon as much as I'd like, with the baby and all.... but try to keep my ends moisturized and dust occasionally for splits.  I'm eager to start my Biotin again.... and that's likely all that I'll add. Right now my goal is to curb this post-partum shedding (my edges/temples) and, if possible, retain the wonderful thickness I got during pregnancy.  I'll continue to add more products to my regimen as necessary, but for now here are just a few of my "must haves."

Post-Partum Staples

Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Conditioner (con-wash/detangle/moisturize)

 

Aceite De Ajo by Alopecil - Garlic Oil Capilar (oil scalp/seal ends)

 

Biotin (5 mg daily)

 

Ladies, did any of you experience post-partum shedding?  How long did it last, and what did you do (if anything) to curb it?

CLICK HERE to return to the Homepage.